Last night I was with Doug when he took his last breath and left this life – just the two of us as I quietly whispered “It’s OK to let go Doug.” We met over 25 years ago in a somewhat random fashion yet we connected in such a purposeful way at the end. It was an honor to have known him, to have been shaped by his presence and the opportunity to say the most final of goodbye’s to a very dear friend.
May your soul rest in peace Doug.
1955 – 2010
Here is a simple two light portrait of Chris against a large corrugated door. Behind this serious face lies a great sense of humor and a passion for photography that made it somewhat unbearable for him to pose rather than be at the controls behind the camera. Even photographers need to have their portrait taken. There are individuals in our lives that will appreciate these memories long after we turn off the camera for the last time.
This is my friend Bruce who also happens to be an accomplished dancer, actor, business owner and parent. We got together recently and put his impeccable dress/acting skills in front of my camera. Let me tell you, I was laughing the entire time. How could you NOT laugh? I have always admired those that allow themselves to be so creative and free spirited in life. Thank you Bruce for the opportunity to photograph you and for the entertainment you always provide.
Life is more fun with you around.
Some things are difficult to explain or understand – such as the good fortune of having the right person come into your life. This has certainly been the case for me. Doug and I became friends many years ago. In fact, it has been nearly 25 years. At our beginning, I was not the slightest bit aware of the impact this soul would have on my life and who I am as a person today. His friendship made an indelible impression on how I perceive life and what we do with the time we are given.
To understand Doug, you need to let go of conventional expectations about life, work, money, etc. Doug never set a goal to make large sums of money. First impressions did not involve expensive clothes or cars, rather a smile and humble nature that made you feel accepted and comfortable. He never made it a goal to do something that he did not enjoy. His priorities in life were to help others, be a good person and enjoy life. After 25 years of knowing Doug, I really think that is the sum total of his life plan. His simple priorities seem overly simplistic in a complex world, and therein lies the genius. I should mention that Doug is a very bright person, not lacking in the slightest of intellectual capabilities.
At this point you may believe this is another opportunity for me to showcase a few images of a friend. I wish, but it isn’t. Like I said in the beginning, some things are difficult to explain or understand. Doug is terminally ill and has less than two years left.
That makes me feel cold inside.
Because of this, I have struggled with the concept of fairness. The fairness of having Doug as a friend, the fairness of knowing him for nearly 25 years, the fairness of his illness, the fairness of being a better person because of him, the fairness of his limited time, and the fairness of having to say goodbye.
In the end, it seems best to set aside the notion of fairness and approach it with the graceful style and simplicity typical of Doug. He would ask me not to worry and to enjoy what we have now.
Time and friendship.
