Some things are difficult to explain or understand – such as the good fortune of having the right person come into your life. This has certainly been the case for me. Doug and I became friends many years ago. In fact, it has been nearly 25 years. At our beginning, I was not the slightest bit aware of the impact this soul would have on my life and who I am as a person today. His friendship made an indelible impression on how I perceive life and what we do with the time we are given.
To understand Doug, you need to let go of conventional expectations about life, work, money, etc. Doug never set a goal to make large sums of money. First impressions did not involve expensive clothes or cars, rather a smile and humble nature that made you feel accepted and comfortable. He never made it a goal to do something that he did not enjoy. His priorities in life were to help others, be a good person and enjoy life. After 25 years of knowing Doug, I really think that is the sum total of his life plan. His simple priorities seem overly simplistic in a complex world, and therein lies the genius. I should mention that Doug is a very bright person, not lacking in the slightest of intellectual capabilities.
At this point you may believe this is another opportunity for me to showcase a few images of a friend. I wish, but it isn’t. Like I said in the beginning, some things are difficult to explain or understand. Doug is terminally ill and has less than two years left.
That makes me feel cold inside.
Because of this, I have struggled with the concept of fairness. The fairness of having Doug as a friend, the fairness of knowing him for nearly 25 years, the fairness of his illness, the fairness of being a better person because of him, the fairness of his limited time, and the fairness of having to say goodbye.
In the end, it seems best to set aside the notion of fairness and approach it with the graceful style and simplicity typical of Doug. He would ask me not to worry and to enjoy what we have now.
Time and friendship.
